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You know when you're sitting in a train and you look out the window and everything is passing you by so quickly and it's all a blur and it's weird because you're so still but everything outside is moving so fast. That's how I feel right now. I feel like I'm stuck in a train forever not moving anywhere, forever stuck in one spot while everyone around me is moving so fast. They're going places and making plans and doing actual things with their life and I'm just stuck here, in this same spot unable to move forward.
Talmud
 
 
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living,
I dreamed that love would never die,
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.
 
If you love
me for what you see,
only your eyes would be
in love with me.

If you love me
for what you've heard,
then you would love me
for my words.

If you love
my heart and mind,
then you will love me,
for all that I'm.

But if you don't love
my every flaw,
then you mustn't love me -
not at all.
 
Which one do you choose?
The person you love unconditionally,
but they may never feel the same
or
the person who unconditionally loves you,
but you may never feel the same.
 
I cannot undo what I have done;
I can't un-sing a song that's sung.

And the saddest thing about my regret -
I can't forgive me and you can't forget.

 
A want a tattoo. I want a few more holes in my ears. I want to travel the world, and I want to wear a dress even if I am not going anywhere special. I want to walk around barefoot in the grass every night of every summer for the rest of my life. I want to be tall enough to kiss the stars, but small enough to crawl in bed and stay there for days. I want to read tons of books, but I want to stay out late sometimes. I want to make mistakes. I want to spend a whole speaking another language. I want to write a book that no one is ever going to read but I want to love it with everything I have. I want to write letters that I am never going to send and I want to keep them under my bed until I forget about them. I want to start over a few times before I get it right. I want to accept my imperfections. I want to dye my hair two different colors and I want to paint my nails the color of the sea. I want to let myself be angry and I want to let msyelf be sad. I want to drive around for the sole reason that I felt like going for a drive. I want to stand on top of the rocks in Central Park and remember what it felt like to stand there for the very first time. I want to write it all down. I want to live the way I want to.
Élet,
 
One day baby, we'll be old
Oh baby, we'll be old
And think of all the stories
That we could have told

No more tears, my heart is dry
I don't laugh and I don't cry
I don't think about you all the time
But when I do - I wonder why
 
Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground. When protection meant a helmet. When the worst thing you could get from a boy were cooties. Dad's shoulders were the highest place on earth and mom was your hero. Your worst enemies were your siblings. Race issues were about who ran the fastest. War was only a card game. The only drug you knew was cough medicine. The only thing that hurt you were skinned knees. And goodbyes only meant for tomorrow. Life was so simple and carefree.
 
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
 
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever:
I was wrong.
 

 

 

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